تربية الابناء !!

ظل هذا الموضوع يشغل بالى من فترة بعيدة تتعدى بضعة سنوات .. تكتفى بمراقبتى لكيفية التربية ..
وكيف يصبح الابناء بعد ذلك ؟!..؟؟
هذا شئ من ضمن اشيااء عديدة اهتم بها :)...
فباعترافى منذ عدة سنون قلت وانا اتذكر هذه الكلمات ..
( امى هذه مسئولية كبيرة ليست لاى احد ولا يستطيع اى احد فعلها ..وعندما اشعر اننى قادرة او على هذا القدر من المسئولية قد افكر فى الزواج ...)
ظللت كثيرا تسيطر هذه الفكرة على دماغى ... نعم ولكثير من الوفت .. كنت مقتنعة 100 % اننى لن اصلح وان هذا شئ اكبر منى ومن اى شخص وان لا يتزوج اى شخص هكذا يجب ان يكونا ع قدر كبير من المسئولية والصبر و...و..الخ
هذا بعد موقف ان ذهبت للاعتناء بابناء خالى لمده يوم واحد 3 اطفال ...
اليوم مر على خير وكل شئ فى  موضعه الطبيعى ولكننى اصبت بالاحباط لان الوقت ضاع ولم استطع ان اغير فى هؤلاء الاطفال او اعلمهم شئ
اليوم اكتفيت بالمناقشة التى لم تؤدى الى اى مكان ...
هذا ما حدث قبل ما اقول جملتى المعروفة ..
ظللت افكر بهذه الطرييقة وقلت انا لن استطيع فعل هذا ...
لذلك سآخذ طريق اخر لافاده تلك البشرية ..
هو ان اهتم بالعلم فقط .. وان ادرس واستطيع تحقيق الكثير من الافكار اللى تراودنى ليلا ونهارا بتواصل
ولكن وقع فى يدى كتاب
المرأة كما ارادها الله  للشيخ محمد متولى الشعرواى ..
هذا الكتاب اعترف غير لى وجهه كبيرة فى حياتى
اعترف انا لست كالبنات الاخريات ... لا احب الدلع ولا اللف والدوران ولا اللى بيعملوه ده
ادركت بعد قرأتى للكتاب ...
انه من المهم ان يأتى اجيالا اكثر نفعا لهذه الامة ..
نعم ... وعندما نظرت الى اطفال اليومين دول .. وجدت انهم لا يتعلمون شيئا
لا يعرفون شيئا ..عذرا يعرفون فى التفاهات فقط ..
يلاقون قدرا كبيييييييرا من الاهمال من جانب امهاتهم وابائهم ..
حزنت فكيف لهذا ان يكون جيل يستطيع صنع مستقبل لبلده
اصابنى بعض الاكتئاب لفترة ان الدنيا ستسوء وستتحول للاسوأ
ولكنى اقتنعت وتحولت اننى يجب ان احاول ..ان لم يوجد اشخاص يحاولون سأحاول حتى ولو انا وحدى
الامر يستحق العناء ..
تذكرت كيف لشخص مثلى ليس سيئا .. شخصا بهذا الفكر والعقل المتفهم .. خلق قويم وحسن
كيف لى ان افكر اننى لن اقدر على هذا!!!
اذا انا ومن مثلى فكرنا هكذا .. اذا من اين سيأتى من سيصلحون !! من سيربى صح ؟؟!! ا
نحن فعلا بحاجة لجيل افضل بكثيير مما عليه اطفال اليوم ...

اطفال اليوم مجرد رؤيتهم  لا اعمم ولكن كل من رأيت ..
اختلاف شاسع عما كنا ..
اتذكر اننا كنا عندنا براءة وادب عاليين جدااا
وهذا يكاد ينعدم فى الجيل الحالى ؟
من السبب !!!؟؟؟؟
فى بالى يدور العديد من الافكار ...حول ماهو الصحيح لتربية الابناء
انا نفسى لم اصدق نفسى عندما بحثت فى عقلى وراجعت كل المواقف والمشاهد التى رأيتها
والتى جعلتنى ان اضع بعض القواعد البسيطة لنفسى
هذا ما يسمى ان تتعلم من اخطاء الاخرون ..
ومن سلبياتهم ...
تربية الاطفال ليس شيئا سهلا
كما كنت اقول وسأظل اقول ..
يحتاج تفرغا ... لان الاهتمام ليس فقط ملابس واستحمام
بلا الاهتمام بتنمية مهارات الطفل
بطعامه بشرابه ... بتعليمه اشياء كثيرة مختلفة
عن الحياة عن الدين ..
كل هذا يحتاج لوقت .. ونحن من نضيع وقتنا بيدنا ..
رأيت موقف منذ البارحة وانا كنت فى المترو
امرأة  لا تهتم بابنها من ناحية ما  ..لها اخطاء معينة ..
تشتم وتصرخ فى طفل اخر وتقول انه لم يتربى وعندما قالت لها احدى النساء
قد يكون والداه اناس طيبون ولكنه هكذا
قالت لها : كيف هذا ؟؟! هذا مستحيل
وظلت واستمرت فى القول
اين هؤلاء الناس الذين لا يهتمون بابنائهم ويتركونهم هكذا
ياللعجب !! وهى ايضا ممن يخطئون ولكنها لا ترى نفسها
هذا الامر اعاد الى ريبة مرة اخرى
ماذا اذا لم افعل كما افكر ...فكم هو سهل التفكير وكم هو صعب التنفيذ ..
ماذا سأفعل ..؟؟ 
بناء رجل اصعب من بناء مدينة
ترددت الكلمة فى اذنى ..نعم والله ادرك ان هذا الموضوع لكبيير جدااا
ومن الصعوبة له نصيب كبير
يحتاج الى ايمان وصبر كبييير ..
نحن فعلا نحتاااااااااج الى جيل سيصلح
ليس جيل كل همه افلام اغانى ....الخ
نريد جيلا يعرف دينه .. مثقف
جيل مسلم بجد ..
ياريت كل الناس تفكر بالطريقة دى ... انها عايزه ولادها يبقوا كويسين
جيل يعطى صورة وانطباع حقيقى للاسلام ...
اعتقد هذا كافى ان حالنا سيصبح للافضل
....
للموضوع بقية

Great FeelinGs

عندما اجلس امام جهاز الكمبيوتر ..(اللاب توب ) احب الكتابة من عليه :)...
وافتح المروحة وتدور تدور وتنشر هواءها فى الغرفة 
انه ذلك الشعور عندما تغمض عينيك وتبتسم ...
كم احب مدونتى :) ....

....

لا تفتخر بـما تحمله من شهادات فليست الشهادة دائمآ دليلا على الثقافه الواسعه

.( لكن ). .

.....(( الدليل على ثـقافتك هو ))..

كلامك وسلوكك

Alexandria !!! :D

okay ...next Saturday ...i'm going on a trip to Alex. ...it's my first time to go there ...:)...there are many places i wish to visit ...:).....
may Allah bless All of us ....and to be a Nice trip & a Quite one :)....
REstinGGGGGGGGG  :)

strange feelings but i like it ..sorry my blog for being late :D

hello my sweeeeeeeeeeeet blog ....sorry it seem that it been along time no typing ....i was soooooooooooo stuck on college ...and weeks went without even opening my PC...:D... now it's kinda a relief and i have a whole week off ...this is the opportunity to get myself together again ...study ....do some works at home .... try to find my self again ...after i was kinda Lost :))...
i really since the last wednesday and i woke up with good feelings ....i slept early the night before ... and i was happy when i was solving it ...for the 1st time in my life to go to college and submit R.Concrete sheet and i understand the whole thing i do and solved ....i was happy with no reason when i woke up that day ...:D..don't know why ..even my hopes for that day went well Alhamdulilah ...:)....

it was a nice day ..:D...

new look !!

at last .....many new things i discovered about this blog...
now i can change it to the shapes i want....now ..i understand more about settings & options :D:D:D.....
nice change ....GoOoOoOoOoOoOoD :D

what is love for me ??!!

well i'll explain my point of view to this subject ...
1st......yes i admit that i hate to be misunderstood ...i hate people to say something about me not true ...& according to shallow explanations ..when that is not the way i think ...........
i believe that u can't judge any one unless u've lived with that one ...even people living together sometimes don't understand each other.....so i'll explain. here ...

for me : 
Love ..is not just a word to be said ....love is respect ,trust , understanding , caring ...
for girls it's different .....
my opinion is due to religion & life....
for me ..i think every girls should keep her heart for 1 man ....the man that she will marry ..
that is the best ..i believe in this words ..that i heard earlier in my life * i'm a woman for one man*
that how girls should live...
* heart isn't like a motel anyone can enter & leave whenever they want ...heart is like a Castle  just for only one King *.....
heart isn't cheap to give it to anyone ...

Also we know that everyone is born & his fate is known ...so somehow ...there is someone some where he is my 2nd half (as we say )..my Fate....the best partner for me in this journey of life ...
he is somewhere there ...maybe we know each other maybe not.....no one can know this really except Allah ....so someday he will show up & find me  ...
so till that day  he come ....i must keep my heart for him ...since i understand ...i must keep my heart for my Fate ....just save the Love & heart just for him ..loving him without knowing him ...loving him without seeing him...just believing he is here & will come someday ..loving him knowing it's Allah choice for me....i know it will be better than i can ever imagine or think .....this is really a great feelings ....:)))....


some will talk about emotions ...Girls are always in a need for something & someone to care for ... something to Love.....Girls are emotional ...
well i can say about that ...girls ..can spent this much care & love for their Family & friends ,,pets .. little things..... they even can love their fate without even know him ....if emotions are hard to be kept inside ur heart ...and u wish to talk &...etc....will ...u can keep writing messages to the unknown here till he come & show him the letters u wrote for him later when he come......i think that's really working
as girls always need something to be busy with ....i can keep writing for the person that will come some day & marry me....write for him messages ....doing this just for keeping urself in the right side ...no wrong طريقة جميلة لملأ الفراغ العاطفى ... وكمان لتفريغ المشاعر المكبوتة ..
really Healthy ..:D.....

well some day when he finds me , he will come to u my Lovely blog & will read this post ....
my dear blog u & messages i've wrote for him ...will show how i was ...:$....

i believe THIS........

i became strange !!!

well ....i'm feeling strange ....about me & some works
well ..after years ...i'm back again to wash dishes ...:)
and yesterday is the 1st day i feel like i love sleeping & i love my bed too
it's the 1st time i feel so .....:)
and  also ...i love home works more than other works !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm really can't believe how i became !!!!!!!!!!
totally strange for me these days ...
i didn't hate it in the past ...but the difference is
i feel something towards it now ...i haven't any feelings in the past
i was just do the work ....but now it's different
:D
and so my dreams....became soooooooo strange tooo
even my words....i'm stilllll meeeeeeeeeeeee ....i came back to myself again
i found myselfffff :D
can u believe this my bloggggg
i'm feeling different ....happy & comfortable .... Alhamdulilah :D

what's wrong with me !!

don't know what's wrong with me !!!....today is the 2nd day i go to college this week
don't know wt i feel....but i'm kinda sick ,,,, i fee sick & tired
don't know why !!!!!!!!!!!!!??
is that because i'm really sick .....
or because i can feel another one sickness !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???
i was okay till i was at college ...i just entered home ...and i felt that way .....
it's kinda strange & i don't know what to say !!!!
i can't even say how my day was
because i don't know........!!!
i hate this really.....all i want now is to sleep
i even don't want to read or do anything ....
i wonder how long this lost trip will stay ....
i keep thinking of my friends ...or i have to call some friend who maybe sick !!!
anyway ....i wish to be better ...for me ...i guess i can do this & be better
or even if i was some1 else ....i'll pray for u ....
rabena yeshfy kol mareed ....

2011

well today i'm going to talk about 2011 ......
at my post called 2011<-------------2010
i said

well i can't say that the last year was good or better ...because many things happen ..
i realized many things .... i feel like i've grown up 20 years ...
i've no wishes or hopes for the new year
i don't even wish for a better year coz i know it won't be much different than the last

this what i've said .....okay i admit it
2010 was the worst year i have ever lived in my life ...
i can say that due to many things happened in it ...
i was totally wrong about 2011 ....
excuse me for saying this bad words about it.... i was totally desperate & very sad
i was like ...no more dreams ,,,,i saw this life all like black
here what happened since 2011 ...
started in a new different way....all the incident happen in it
was totally strange and new .... nothing never happened here
i feel like i'm new born ,,, starting a new start all over again
things happen ....things is going to happen
although .. many worrying things happen ....i feel soooo comfortable and happy ....
it's kinda strange i know
but ....
2011 is better than 2010
2011 keeps on proving that it's the best year ever ...and it'll continue the same way
in shaa Allah
2011 will be full of surprises & things will be okay ..& different ...i'm sure ...
sorry 2011 ... but u r the best for me now ...:D....

sorry my foot ..:(

2nd important lesson u can get for the 1st day of college

well it seem i'ven't learnt anything yet ..!!!
last year 1st day of college i went to college with my new shoes .....
the problem that i didn't know about new shoes is ....it hurts the foot
that what happened the nails of my fingers foot ...about to be broken all ...
i remember how much i suffer that day ......Wah ...really baaaaaaaaad feelings
that u feel like ur foot in pain ...although i can't take off the shoes ..!!!

well today was different as i ...for the 1st time i wear a boot ...it's okay ..and everything
but i was sooooooooooooo tired ....although it felt like i can't walk anymore...
i felt some pain ....just from the high heels ...:(....

it's a something of 2 ..
that i must give up wearing this girly shoes ...and keep on wearing sport shoes only !!!??
other ...i must keep on practicing till i be okay with that ...

well i can say ...college is the reason i can't wear this shoes easily ...as the work and walking for a long time ...it made it hard to wear it freely ,,,,i love this shoes ...but i can't wear it

why did i joined such a college ...!!!!

اناااااااااا اهوه بعد تقريبا شهر كماااان

ازييييييييييك يا بلوجتى العزيزة وحشتيييييييييييينى موووووووووووووووت
ازاااااااااااااى قدرت ابعد عنك بس
ياااااااااااااه فى كلام كتيييييييييير عايزه اكتبه
وطبعا مش ناسيه المواضيع اللى المفروووووووض كنت هكتبها
ومكتبتهاش
وطبعا النيولوك بتاع البلوج
عشان شكلك كئييييب جدااااااااااا لا يناسب شخصيتى ههههههههههههه
معلش بقى
بس المشكلة انى لازلت اجد صعوبة فى الموقع هنا
وشفت بلوجات كتيير شكلها حلو ومعمول فيها شغل
اتمنى انى اعمل ربعه
بس يلا هحااااااااااول  ادور كده ويارب مفيش حاجة تبووووووووووظ ههههههههههههههه
انا رجعت يا بلوجتى العزيزة ومش هسيبك
ولانى شكلى فى خلال السنتين الجايين
ربنا يدينى العمر
شكلك هتبقى مهمة لشخص اخر يدخل يقراكى
وكفاية اكتر جملة سمعتها فى في عجبتنى اويييييي
وحقيقية جدااااااااااااااااااااااا
فيلم سيدنى وايت
blog ...it's not about to be read ...it's about to written :D
بجد كفااااااااية الكتابة فيها بتريييييح جداااااااااااااااااااااااااا
وطبعا عندى حاااجااااااات كتيييييييييير هقولها
مصر اتغيرررررررررررتتت
:)))))))
اشوفكم البوست القادم هههههههههههه

hiii i'm baaack :(

i'm back after nearly month
i'm not going to talk about the Revolution
nowadays i'm not okay .....
kinda losing the hope inside my heart
also i know i should fight for it ......
but everything around makes it impossible
keeps on pushing us to give up
while our dreams are going Far & far ...
although it was sooo close ...
but those dreams & hopes keeps on shining
we keep on trying to catch it ...to get it
achieve it ...reach it .....
we keep on thinking it's close ...while it's far ...
very ....
i'm kinda feeling lost ....
losing direction
daydreaming
although i know what i'm thinking of will never be
but ....
i wanna keep on hoping ...
after rumors & lies are spread now ...in all fields & every little things in our life
i can't trust anything or any word easilly
i can't believe it ..this or that .... he or she ...they or whatever ..
it become too hard ....
i've decided that as long i'm feeling that way ....kinds broken
i'll go away for a few days ...till i feel better .... maybe it takes a day or more
don't know yet ....
there are many important things in my life to do
i must try to be a light again ...

sorry readers for that bad emotions .... but i was soo stuffed & had enough
i wanna cry ...really ...!!
but as always i'll try to swallow all this ...
i'll be okay ...i promise ...if it's nt for me ....it's for all people who cares a bout me
people that loves me .... :)
see u in a few days ...

new look !!

i decided to change the shape of my blog ...especially .to something more bright & better..
as lately ..i feel bad ..and i think it's really soooo desperate background...make anyone feel sad
so wait for the new look sooooooooon :)...

i hate this !!!

كم اكره هؤلاء الناس ...
الذين ليس عندهم اى ذره كرامة ...
لا يفكرون بعقولهم
كيف يتجرأون ...
بعض الناس قد خرجوا من حياتى قبل حتى ان يدخلوها
والبعض خرج بعد دخولها
كيف يجرأ شخصا ما ان يطلب شيئا او يقول شيئا
لا يخصه ولا يعنيه
كيف يجرؤ شخص ان يخبر اخر بانه يحبه فى حين انه ليس لديه دليل
او اى خطوه ..
اشعر بخيبة امل فى هذا الشباب وهذا العالم
عندما يتحول كل اهتمامهم بالاغانى .. والافلام
التى قامت بتسميم دماغهم
كل تفكيرهم هو الحب !!!.
وكأن هذا هو الشئ الوحيد فى الحياه ..
من كثر اللى يسمعوه واللى يتفرجوا عليه
كيف اصبح مجتمعنا هكذا ..
ياااااااااااااااااااااااااااه كم يؤلمنى هذا
كم انه لشئ حقير ان يأتى شخص ما
يعترف لك كما يقو بحبه فى حين ان
هذا الشخص كل ما يفكر به هو الذهاب والخروج والاحاديث
حتى لا يفكر فى اى شئ جدى!!!!
شباب احمق
نعم احمق وغبى
احمق وغبى من يحتقرنى او يفكر يوما اننى من هذا النوع من الفتيات
احمق وغبى من ظن يوما ان اى كلمة من هذه سوف تهزنى
احمق وساذج من ظن يوما انه سيدخل قلعه قلبى ...
اتريد ان تعرف السبب ايها الاحمق ...
لان قلبى ليس ملكا لاحد
قلبى ملك لربى
قلبى كالقصر..ينتظر ملك هذا القصر... احافظ عليه لنصيبى ..للشخص الذى سيصبح زوجى فقط
ليس قلبى كالفندق ...يدخل ويخرج كل شخص يعبر به ...
هههههههه ...هذا ما وودت قوله عندما رأيت سذاجتك ...
يحاولون بكل ما عندهم من قوه ان يؤثروا عليكى ..ان يقنعوكى بوجهتهم ..
ولكن اختاه لا تستسلمى ...
لا تخسرى دينك
لا تخسرى اهلك وثقتهم
لمجرد بعض الكلمات
هذه الاشياء لا تسوى شيئا ...
قد يظن البعض ممن لم يتعرضوا لهذه المواقف انه ظلم
اذا رفضت الفتاه هذا الشاب
الذى لا يستطيع النوم لانه يفكر
ويكتب القصائد
يظل يذكر ان يحبك
يفضحك امام اصدقاؤه ...
صدقينى هذا ليس حبا
هذا غباااااااااااااء..
اذا اعجب بك شخصا يوما ..
سوف يأتى اليك ويخبرك
انه يريد ان يعيش معك للابد
وقبل هذا سيقول انه يود ان يقابل عائلتك
..
هذا اذا احب شخصا اخر بصدق ..
سيخاف عليك
يحترمه
لا يذكره امام اصدقاؤه لانه يحافظ عليه
يحترمك ويقدرك
يثق بك ..
سيحاول الحفاظ عليكى كاخواته
لن يفعل ما يؤذيكى امام اى احد
لن يفعل ما يؤذيكى ويؤثر على وجهتك
لن يرضى باى شئ قد يسئ اليك او الى اهلك
و......الكتير من الاشياء الصحيحة

المشكلة الحقيقية اننا اصبحا نعيش فى عالم اختلط فيه الصح بالخطأ
لذا انا لا احب هذا العالم ....

Stupid emotional girl :(

yeah it's me ..... well i must confess this now ...no one know this ....coz this is the hidden side of me that really most of others don't know ...well i'm ...i mean ...i was ...very senstive ....alittle word hurts me & made me cry .... so i've decided along time ago ...to swallow this tears and be stronger that's why after years of practicing ..i become stronger now .....but .... this side trying to come out ...and show it self again ...i think it's because i kept swallowing all the things that annoyes me so it pile up ..that i can't bear anymore ??!!!!!!!....
no one can ever stand how hard when a hurt word is said and u just ignore it !!!....it's hard ...and feels like heart is bleeding ....i hate to cry infront of others ...and when it happen ...i hate myself ...
for me ...looking like strong rock better than looking like a fragile bisscuit easy to be broken ...

yeah after years of practicing ...words and some actions don't even affect me ...coz ..i've decided this along time ago ...:s....but still words hurt ...just from a few persons not every ones ....
but a few time it hurted and i didn't cry ...i just feel angry coz ..even i defended myself .. no one will ever understand me ...coz they will never accept your excuses ...:(...really i wanna say...not all excuses is a lie ....:(...no one put themselves on others shoes to see how they deal or will deal ..
this world became very hard with much misunderstanding ..:((...
so i stoped explaining and stopped caring for what the hell other people think of me ...
* what really makes me angry and hate myself ...that my tears just fall in some situations without even my permission ...it's uncontrolled ...i feel embarssed really :((....:$ ...
- i can swallow ...any pain ...any tears ... i can forgive and accept apology of everyone ....yes i'd say i'm okay it's nothing ....but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt or annoy me ..!!!
- also i'm mad at my self ...coz i get hurted for other people ...i get hurted of words that have nothing to do with me at all...!!!...my problem is ...i can feel feel others very very much ..that i can't explain ..and it really hurt me ...and i feel guilt easily for any word i say might hurt any other...:(
i feel angry of negative people ...that accept the un fairness ..and just live like that ...doesn't even seek for their wrights ...or anything... don't even defend themselves ..:(..i feel pain for that....
even if i know all of this ... i'm aware of all this ...sometimes i hurt others without i even notice ... i feel guilt ,,,even if i say sorry ...this word won't ever remove the pain felt of the word when said ...so i'm doing my best to avoid this ...i just don't want to hurt anyone ...:(

:((

well ..it seem i've lost my little note book that i type my thoughts on it ....:((...how i'll write these posts now.....i'll search for it ....i hope to finish all writing :)

i've gone crazy !!

yeah ...since i started playing on ...miniclip.com ....i can't stop my self from playing specially ...these games
suduko - Anagram magic - 8ball pool Multiplayer - winter Bow master.....
really ...i like them ...and i love to play these games :)....

a waken mind

ohhhhhhhhhh ...what i can say about my self ...it really make me tired ...hahhhhahahha...
whenever i'm about to sleep the day before exam ....ia brilliant idea ...come...!!!..
and keeeeeeeeep thinking ....i think that why i haven't slept well lately ...:(....
it's kinda strange ...but i wanna write many many posts as i can ...i wanna to empty the existed thoughts ...so i can get another new one....i'd be dreaming if i say ..i wanna feel relaxed abit from this whole thoughts in my mind ..that i'ven't written .....so i'll write them ..so i'll feel kinda relief ...so i'll try to do my best effort to finish most of them ...so i can focus on my next exam :D...

2010---------> 2011

well i can't say that the last year was good or better ...because many things happen ..
i realized many things .... i feel like i've grown up 20 years ...
i've no wishes or hopes for the new year
i don't even wish for a better year coz i know it won't be much different than the last
In this year : 
# 1st time to make a birthday cake
# 1st time to spend much time in kitchen
#1st time to bake a cake
# 1st time to visit el Qanter
#1st time to go on a training for my future job
#1st time to hate the summer vacation trip
# 1st time ...well not the 1st but 1st since i entered the college ...to get hurt by aclose friend
#1st time to come closely to hate someone
#in 2010 ...we lost one of the family and it's my aunt ..a day before ramdan....since then my life had changed ..
# 1st time to face this situation ...and i faced it twice this year ..and i refused it
i haven't broken anyone's heart ...they did this to themselves ....( my life is a big Drama )
# 1st time to hate college
#i discovered the key of my happiness & it's helping other ..that's really made me happy :D.
# i wanted to do something very much but i couldn't ..:(..
# medicine came back to my life after 5 years with no medicine !!!..
# 1st time ...i didn't feel the holy month of Ramadan ..
#1st time ..to give up everything ..although i wanted to ...but i couldn't ...as long there are people care for me & love me ...i'll be stronger and fight till my last breathe ..
#1st time to cry infront of my friends & a professor ...the worst ever...and i really was deeply embraced ....i couldn't hold my tears ..i couldn't even say a thing or explain my situation ...although i talked alot ...but i hated the way she replied me ...this situation made me angry of many things ...as no one can feel any other circumstances   ... no one can understand ..that not every excuse is a lie !!!! :@:@:@:@:@
# 1st time to be sick at college ...:(
#in this year ..i collapsed many times ...not as usual ...!!! :S

# 1st time to dream of my Soulmate ..his birthdate his name ...his work & everything ...but unluckily ...i haven't seen his face ....and all i remember is that his 1st name ...and 2 numbers of his birthdate ...1 or 2 ..the birth date contain these two numbers ...i wish this dream is true ...
really i liked him ..:$:$...i dreamed of him twice ...with the same information :D..

# life is unexpected & getting serious day after day ...
# 1st time to think seriously about wearing NeQab ...
i can say 2010 is the saddest year i've ever been through ...
that's it .....

my coming posts :P

this are a list for all posts i wanna write :
- 2010-----> 2011
- just stupid emotional girl ..!
- a message for every one through 2010
- it's boring !!!
- i'm lucky
-my confession 2
-things i wanna do with my soul-mate :P
.....mmmm...this is what i'm up to till now ....so wait for all the posts .:)