boring -_-

everything is boring like hell ...my friends each one of them day after day go farther..from 6 to 2 :| ..really nothing ever stays the same ..
since our group is just 2 with me ...1 is lost by sleeping ..the 2nd is busy with her complicated engagement...
yeah i admit it i miss college days ..i feel lonely ..i miss talking with my friends ..but i understand how busy their life is .. :\ someday i'll be super busy and have no free time :|
i miss college ..feel so free it kills me ..but i won't apply to any job till my sister leaves !!
i'm even too lazy to do anything ..to read ..to learn ..to crochet ..it's all boring even watching dramas ..too boring ...i'm the biggest loser  ever .. i need a lift up ...
i wanna wake up this soul ..
why am i feeling too bad !?
ast3'fr Allah el 3azeem
it's 2:30 am ..it's too cold ..why can't i sleep ?? i feel soo bad ..i don't sleep any much
hardly sleep ...why why !? :\ why i'm thinking too much !!?
that's what i hate ..some peace of mind ..all i need
i don't even know why i'm doing this to myself
i just wish thing get better ...i should leave fb for a while ..so i can't notice that no one there..
i always have the intentions ..but never do what i want
i need to be doer than a thinker ..at the mean time ..so i can have some mind peace
and my soul can rest for a bit ..don't know what future might hold for me :\
i think i need to try harder to encourge myself..in the end we all just have ourselves
and i hope today in 2nd blind meeting ..to go well if this is the best 4 me
i don't want more shocks :| or wasting time ..:| i gave up my dream man