- hi NoO.
-hiii :)
-where are you ? why hiding ?
-i'm not really hiding i'm just healing
-healing?
-well yeah ..i'm kinda tired and sick of many things
- tell me what makes you sick !!? don't you care about other might be worried about you ?
- well i care ...but things are getting complicated so i had to disappear for a while
- complicated !!! how ?! aren't you running away ?!
- what if i'm running away ..whats wrong with that ..can't i just change and do stuff that i'm not used to do .. why do i have to be online everyday !! this makes me crazzy !!
- answer me what is the reason behind all this !!? what really makes you sick ? isn't it a little bit surprising of you not to deactivate and just leave it without logging in ? i can't understand you !! explain it for me please ?!
-it's hard to say ..but i can't lie to myself .. i'm going crazy just staying there doing nothing ..it's been a while since i'm thinking to let go of this fake life ..i don't like it ..besides i miss someone so badly that even the existence of them online isn't enough :\ ..i'm hopeless :(
- i agree with you fb became soo boring & so do people ..but isn't that person is the one from your dreams ?
- i guess so
- u guess hahahah it's obvious and i'm sure of it
- :|
- so after hiding ..u don't miss him anymore ?
- no ..it still the same ..
- so u keep thinking of him ?
- yeah more than ordinary days ..i mean the whole day stuck on my mind -_-
-and what do u think is the reason for that ?
- maybe because i'm forcing myself to forget and ignore !!
- :D keep on imaging it that way
- :@
- so what's wrong with him ?
- i don't get it ..many questions i want to ask him about ..i'm curious about why he looked like that that day and that day and that day and this act that day and that day and that day and that day .......many many days i can't think of a proper explanation to all of this ..this just crossed my mind right now ..:\
- it's simple ..ask him
- i can't even if i tried ..he never gave me the chance to ask anything !!
i know i'm kinda stupid coz it's all from the past ..but what makes me angry is that all are coming back to me these days ..stuffed at my head !!
- well what are you going to do about it ?
- nothing what can i do ? ..all i can is nothing i just need to give up this curiosity for my sake.
- doesn't he like you ?
- who knows
-answer properly :| ?
- well i think he hates me .. or maybe he is very angry of me ..or he just hates me ...>.<
-what makes you feel that way ?
- his actions
- are you sure ?
- yes
- think again ..are you sure ?
- ..... no i'm not sure ..if i were sure will i look like that ~_~
- what if he loves you ?
- i don't think so
- why ?
- because there is no reason for him to love me
- maybe this is a reason for him to love you ..love is unconditional ..there is no reasons to love someone :)
- well i agree ..but i think i'm so stupid to be loved by him ..
- have you ever felt that he likes you ?
- well can't say ..
- think again have you ?
- well sometimes
- do you feel it right now ?
- if you asked me 2 years ago i would tell you that i'm 100% sure that we will be together in the end ..right now i can't even guess ..not even a chance
-if it's that way why u keep holding onto him ?
- i don't ..i can't even remember when did he returned back to my memories & my head ..
- why do i feel like he is a bad person ? he doesn't deserve you ?
- no he is not ..he is really a good person ..maybe not everyone know this ..but since first time i saw him i felt it ..he is a good person with good intention but always get misunderstood by others ..no one really can understand him ..but he is good i'm sure 100%
it is not about who deserves who ..it is just fate
- are you sure ? you don't even know him ! how can u be that sure about him ?!!!
- i can't tell ..it is just my feeling ..intuition... it's my anticipation so i trust it .
- no comment... surely you have a wide imagination
- yeah a very big one like no other :@
- so he is not bad but why did he ignore you all this time ?
- maybe he is angry with me ..he is really angry :\
- angry ..from what ?
- don't know ..but he is kinda troubled by what annoy him can't easily forget this and can hold it for long ..but he has a kind heart ..he used to get depressed and down easily ..but maybe he is stronger now !!
-so what do you think might made him angry of you ?
- mmmmm... coz i ignored him for a long time ..
- you ignored him !!!?
- not really i just couldn't face him ..i'm a little shy ..that's why i was hiding
- well maybe this isn't the reason we are looking for ..think again ?
-mmmm... maybe it's beacause of my stupidness !!
- well maybe but not a strong one ..maybe he is just shy 3:)
- no maybe ..but he isn't like this once you know him
- well think again ??
- mmm.. what can it be ..can't remember anything !!
- are you sure ?
- no
- go back to the start of this year ?
- u mean coz i got engaged !!!
- it's a good reason to make any guy go mad
- well i know and i'm kinda sorry for that but it is not a thing like others
- but still it is an engagement ..it's like betrayal for men
- no it's not ..it's an engagement not a marriage& i have my reasons ..and i have never been happy with that engagement
i even don't remember or feel like i was engaged ..this was the worst time in my life much
worse than September exams.. and i can explain it to him.. i hate myself everytime i remember :(
- maybe he can't forgive you
- it's a mistake and i solved it ..why can't he forgive me for this little thing ..it's over along time ago :(.. he is really a pure hearted ..this really makes me feel bad :'(
-do you wish he was here to see all this ?
- no , i don't ..we are not in a movie !! it's impossible !!
-so what about coming back and talking with him ?
- i can't ..i can't do it anymore ..he won't reply me like he always do ..and this hurts
- what do you wish now ?
- why can't he send me an offline message telling me ..hi how are you ? feneek ? can't this just happen for once :|
- is this a wish ? iis this the message can get u back ? this can happen easily :D
- no he is not like this and won't do this
- so he is a cold person ?!
- no he is not ..he is just rational
-what will u say if he is watching u right now ?
- no way ..i can't imagine that >.< :S..
-what if what if ? just imagine ?
-......:O.. i will feel very embarrassed that i will hide for years :((
-what do you think he will think of u ?
- a crazy & stupid person ..and i will be blocked forever :S
-stop stupidity and come back
- i can't come back now ..i must heal myself ..and get away from many things ..apart from all this i;m really trying to avoid living in virtual life here and there ..i will just live in reality ..i need to find myself ..and work hard for my future ..my life needs me more
i need to free my mind from all the curiosity so i can be more comfortable to come back
- you think you will success this time ?
- yes i succeeded once a year ago and i can now ..
- what if it came back ?
- as long as i'm doing my best to forget ..i'll get what i want and forget about all this .
these dreams must stop from showing up in front of me ..and i must burn the notes where my dreams are written .
- you wrote your dreams on notes !!?
- yes i did , but i'm going to get rid of it ..so i can forget everything
- well if you are so sure i can't say anything ..good luck
but there are many things needs to be known for sure
- no many things are better to be left unsaid ..it's much better that way
i'm tired and want to sleep ..so leave me alone now ..i need some peace ..
----------------------------------------------------------------- to be continued
-hiii :)
-where are you ? why hiding ?
-i'm not really hiding i'm just healing
-healing?
-well yeah ..i'm kinda tired and sick of many things
- tell me what makes you sick !!? don't you care about other might be worried about you ?
- well i care ...but things are getting complicated so i had to disappear for a while
- complicated !!! how ?! aren't you running away ?!
- what if i'm running away ..whats wrong with that ..can't i just change and do stuff that i'm not used to do .. why do i have to be online everyday !! this makes me crazzy !!
- answer me what is the reason behind all this !!? what really makes you sick ? isn't it a little bit surprising of you not to deactivate and just leave it without logging in ? i can't understand you !! explain it for me please ?!
-it's hard to say ..but i can't lie to myself .. i'm going crazy just staying there doing nothing ..it's been a while since i'm thinking to let go of this fake life ..i don't like it ..besides i miss someone so badly that even the existence of them online isn't enough :\ ..i'm hopeless :(
- i agree with you fb became soo boring & so do people ..but isn't that person is the one from your dreams ?
- i guess so
- u guess hahahah it's obvious and i'm sure of it
- :|
- so after hiding ..u don't miss him anymore ?
- no ..it still the same ..
- so u keep thinking of him ?
- yeah more than ordinary days ..i mean the whole day stuck on my mind -_-
-and what do u think is the reason for that ?
- maybe because i'm forcing myself to forget and ignore !!
- :D keep on imaging it that way
- :@
- so what's wrong with him ?
- i don't get it ..many questions i want to ask him about ..i'm curious about why he looked like that that day and that day and that day and this act that day and that day and that day and that day .......many many days i can't think of a proper explanation to all of this ..this just crossed my mind right now ..:\
- it's simple ..ask him
- i can't even if i tried ..he never gave me the chance to ask anything !!
i know i'm kinda stupid coz it's all from the past ..but what makes me angry is that all are coming back to me these days ..stuffed at my head !!
- well what are you going to do about it ?
- nothing what can i do ? ..all i can is nothing i just need to give up this curiosity for my sake.
- doesn't he like you ?
- who knows
-answer properly :| ?
- well i think he hates me .. or maybe he is very angry of me ..or he just hates me ...>.<
-what makes you feel that way ?
- his actions
- are you sure ?
- yes
- think again ..are you sure ?
- ..... no i'm not sure ..if i were sure will i look like that ~_~
- what if he loves you ?
- i don't think so
- why ?
- because there is no reason for him to love me
- maybe this is a reason for him to love you ..love is unconditional ..there is no reasons to love someone :)
- well i agree ..but i think i'm so stupid to be loved by him ..
- have you ever felt that he likes you ?
- well can't say ..
- think again have you ?
- well sometimes
- do you feel it right now ?
- if you asked me 2 years ago i would tell you that i'm 100% sure that we will be together in the end ..right now i can't even guess ..not even a chance
-if it's that way why u keep holding onto him ?
- i don't ..i can't even remember when did he returned back to my memories & my head ..
- why do i feel like he is a bad person ? he doesn't deserve you ?
- no he is not ..he is really a good person ..maybe not everyone know this ..but since first time i saw him i felt it ..he is a good person with good intention but always get misunderstood by others ..no one really can understand him ..but he is good i'm sure 100%
it is not about who deserves who ..it is just fate
- are you sure ? you don't even know him ! how can u be that sure about him ?!!!
- i can't tell ..it is just my feeling ..intuition... it's my anticipation so i trust it .
- no comment... surely you have a wide imagination
- yeah a very big one like no other :@
- so he is not bad but why did he ignore you all this time ?
- maybe he is angry with me ..he is really angry :\
- angry ..from what ?
- don't know ..but he is kinda troubled by what annoy him can't easily forget this and can hold it for long ..but he has a kind heart ..he used to get depressed and down easily ..but maybe he is stronger now !!
-so what do you think might made him angry of you ?
- mmmmm... coz i ignored him for a long time ..
- you ignored him !!!?
- not really i just couldn't face him ..i'm a little shy ..that's why i was hiding
- well maybe this isn't the reason we are looking for ..think again ?
-mmmm... maybe it's beacause of my stupidness !!
- well maybe but not a strong one ..maybe he is just shy 3:)
- no maybe ..but he isn't like this once you know him
- well think again ??
- mmm.. what can it be ..can't remember anything !!
- are you sure ?
- no
- go back to the start of this year ?
- u mean coz i got engaged !!!
- it's a good reason to make any guy go mad
- well i know and i'm kinda sorry for that but it is not a thing like others
- but still it is an engagement ..it's like betrayal for men
- no it's not ..it's an engagement not a marriage& i have my reasons ..and i have never been happy with that engagement
i even don't remember or feel like i was engaged ..this was the worst time in my life much
worse than September exams.. and i can explain it to him.. i hate myself everytime i remember :(
- maybe he can't forgive you
- it's a mistake and i solved it ..why can't he forgive me for this little thing ..it's over along time ago :(.. he is really a pure hearted ..this really makes me feel bad :'(
-do you wish he was here to see all this ?
- no , i don't ..we are not in a movie !! it's impossible !!
-so what about coming back and talking with him ?
- i can't ..i can't do it anymore ..he won't reply me like he always do ..and this hurts
- what do you wish now ?
- why can't he send me an offline message telling me ..hi how are you ? feneek ? can't this just happen for once :|
- is this a wish ? iis this the message can get u back ? this can happen easily :D
- no he is not like this and won't do this
- so he is a cold person ?!
- no he is not ..he is just rational
-what will u say if he is watching u right now ?
- no way ..i can't imagine that >.< :S..
-what if what if ? just imagine ?
-......:O.. i will feel very embarrassed that i will hide for years :((
-what do you think he will think of u ?
- a crazy & stupid person ..and i will be blocked forever :S
-stop stupidity and come back
- i can't come back now ..i must heal myself ..and get away from many things ..apart from all this i;m really trying to avoid living in virtual life here and there ..i will just live in reality ..i need to find myself ..and work hard for my future ..my life needs me more
i need to free my mind from all the curiosity so i can be more comfortable to come back
- you think you will success this time ?
- yes i succeeded once a year ago and i can now ..
- what if it came back ?
- as long as i'm doing my best to forget ..i'll get what i want and forget about all this .
these dreams must stop from showing up in front of me ..and i must burn the notes where my dreams are written .
- you wrote your dreams on notes !!?
- yes i did , but i'm going to get rid of it ..so i can forget everything
- well if you are so sure i can't say anything ..good luck
but there are many things needs to be known for sure
- no many things are better to be left unsaid ..it's much better that way
i'm tired and want to sleep ..so leave me alone now ..i need some peace ..
----------------------------------------------------------------- to be continued
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