.............

i don't have much to say ..
i wanna say thanks to everyone tried to send me hopes & their positive energy
i'm thankful & grateful for you
but i can't keep living like this..i will only take this energy
& i won't be able to return it back
i want to leave in the black mood day by day
with its all sadness & depression ..cry to the fullest
do all this stuff .. i want to back to my peace..
i know it's  hard ..but i can't help it
i remember.... how i feel now ..is the same like the end of 2010
what really hurt ? ..i really don't why i'm feeling this ?
i believe this all is because of piling up feeling
i don't know what i'm really feeling
i'm just loosing control of myself
i'll cry as much as i want ..
i'll be sad as much as i want
i'll keep silent as much as i want
i'll disappear ..not because i want some one to find me
i know & sure that no one ever will search for me
i just want to find myself ...find me again
all this stuff ..i'll do it till i feel sick of myself ..and get back
in the end i'll feel better ..i'll grow stronger
i'll know many other things i should know
i can be better than ever 
it's all about time ..isn't it ?