1st time in college ..to cry over a result ..it's not really about the degrees
it was because of other people :\
i knew that i won't get much ..coz if i wanted to ..i was going to do more effort
Although this exams i did better than last years.. but degrees are worse :\
this make me sad every year ..but ..i get over it quickly ..so i can live
i'm not that kind to cry over degrees ..i care for Health more :|
what really annoyed me ..i felt suffocation ..
it really annoy me when people who are good at studies ..keeps whining about what if they fail a subject...and if looking to their degrees in midterms ..it's good ones ..and they even don;t have to get the half of finals to pass ..but it just like let's make everyone nervous
i just don't like who just come and ruin the atmosphere .
what happened today wasn't the 1st time for me..i heard this kind stuff most of times
but today it hurted me :((
someone came to us asking about something ..and started talking about how worried is she
the results ..and it's bad ..and this kinda rumors b4 every exam ...
i wanted to make her feel better and not to worry like that ..she was in a bad stats
so the same question we all ask to make others feel better and to calm them down
how much did u get midterms?
it was a high enough degree for her to not worry ..so we all keep telling her that she is going to pass do not to worry..This didn't work
i told her ..if u are like this ..what should i do ? when my degree is even less than the half?!!
she responded :( u shut up , u don't even attend , i don't see in college ..i wish if i were like u ,,,,,,.........................)
means the cold person who isn't moved by the results ..the person who don't care ..and the person who laughs the whole time
this annoyed me ..i didn't add anything and kept silence ..
i heard this many times in the past few years so ..and many like why u always laughing smiling ..sometimes with a sarcasm smile ..so i wasn't surprised
i always felt bad after ...
but i just wondered
will it make u happy or anyone happy to just reveal all my saddness inside me !!!
not because i can control my feelings better than anyone else ..that means i don't care
if only they knew if i open up my heart ..they might die of the sadness & worries inside it
it kills me ...i was worried like hell ,,i was afraid like hell ..i hate myself every time results appears.. i'm angry and very sad ..i have dreams too :\
but i never show it ..coz it kills me & i don't have to kill others with me
i've lied to myself thousand & thousand of times ..to get through my worst days & pains
to stand again and keep going ..
if i didn't help myself , no one will ..
if i let myself to collapse ..i wasn't going to get up again
i'm protecting myself with that shell
u want to be like me ..okay be like me ..take my degrees ,,my sorrows my worries ..my care
but can u live this way !!
i want to be like u all too ..not to care about anything or anyone ..just to care about studies only ..maybe then i'd be someone else ..someone u won't annoy by ur words..
i wanted to get better degrees for my last years too ..more than anyone ..
but this is how i ended ...this is my fate ...i'm accepting it ..
ِالحمدلله على كل شئ
reailty is ..no one ever cares about ur pain ..they just notice the happiness and try to steal it ,or to ruin it ..
they never know that the key of happiness is within themselves ..not in others
we all have our own pain ..circumstances.. just leave others in peace ..
u never know how they are suffering ..if u see someone smiling someday
pray that Allah keep their smiles & happiness forever
it is just that easy
after i heard this and many other situations happens today ..i was laughing & having fun with friends like there is nothing ..
once we left each other ..i got drown in this sadness & thoughts
i cried for the 1st time over this ..cried ..want to cry ..still........
seem this bad moods don't wanna me to be in peace ..
i will let every feeling to take it's own time
i;m giving up
i won't try to fight anything
it's just a headache ..
it was because of other people :\
i knew that i won't get much ..coz if i wanted to ..i was going to do more effort
Although this exams i did better than last years.. but degrees are worse :\
this make me sad every year ..but ..i get over it quickly ..so i can live
i'm not that kind to cry over degrees ..i care for Health more :|
what really annoyed me ..i felt suffocation ..
it really annoy me when people who are good at studies ..keeps whining about what if they fail a subject...and if looking to their degrees in midterms ..it's good ones ..and they even don;t have to get the half of finals to pass ..but it just like let's make everyone nervous
i just don't like who just come and ruin the atmosphere .
what happened today wasn't the 1st time for me..i heard this kind stuff most of times
but today it hurted me :((
someone came to us asking about something ..and started talking about how worried is she
the results ..and it's bad ..and this kinda rumors b4 every exam ...
i wanted to make her feel better and not to worry like that ..she was in a bad stats
so the same question we all ask to make others feel better and to calm them down
how much did u get midterms?
it was a high enough degree for her to not worry ..so we all keep telling her that she is going to pass do not to worry..This didn't work
i told her ..if u are like this ..what should i do ? when my degree is even less than the half?!!
she responded :( u shut up , u don't even attend , i don't see in college ..i wish if i were like u ,,,,,,.........................)
means the cold person who isn't moved by the results ..the person who don't care ..and the person who laughs the whole time
this annoyed me ..i didn't add anything and kept silence ..
i heard this many times in the past few years so ..and many like why u always laughing smiling ..sometimes with a sarcasm smile ..so i wasn't surprised
i always felt bad after ...
but i just wondered
will it make u happy or anyone happy to just reveal all my saddness inside me !!!
not because i can control my feelings better than anyone else ..that means i don't care
if only they knew if i open up my heart ..they might die of the sadness & worries inside it
it kills me ...i was worried like hell ,,i was afraid like hell ..i hate myself every time results appears.. i'm angry and very sad ..i have dreams too :\
but i never show it ..coz it kills me & i don't have to kill others with me
i've lied to myself thousand & thousand of times ..to get through my worst days & pains
to stand again and keep going ..
if i didn't help myself , no one will ..
if i let myself to collapse ..i wasn't going to get up again
i'm protecting myself with that shell
u want to be like me ..okay be like me ..take my degrees ,,my sorrows my worries ..my care
but can u live this way !!
i want to be like u all too ..not to care about anything or anyone ..just to care about studies only ..maybe then i'd be someone else ..someone u won't annoy by ur words..
i wanted to get better degrees for my last years too ..more than anyone ..
but this is how i ended ...this is my fate ...i'm accepting it ..
ِالحمدلله على كل شئ
reailty is ..no one ever cares about ur pain ..they just notice the happiness and try to steal it ,or to ruin it ..
they never know that the key of happiness is within themselves ..not in others
we all have our own pain ..circumstances.. just leave others in peace ..
u never know how they are suffering ..if u see someone smiling someday
pray that Allah keep their smiles & happiness forever
it is just that easy
after i heard this and many other situations happens today ..i was laughing & having fun with friends like there is nothing ..
once we left each other ..i got drown in this sadness & thoughts
i cried for the 1st time over this ..cried ..want to cry ..still........
seem this bad moods don't wanna me to be in peace ..
i will let every feeling to take it's own time
i;m giving up
i won't try to fight anything
it's just a headache ..
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