sensei ^^

closed

nothing to say :)

deactivating !!! :\..totally exhausted

i have deactivated my FB account since last thrusday .. and i was going to type how everyday passed ..but this didn't matter anyway.. coz i don't feel anything ..i don't miss my FB ..well i miss it a little .. but not to reactivate it sooner...

so i feel so sorry for the people i made them to worry ..or sad ..or wtever ..
i'm really sorry ..it maybe selfish thing to just think about myself
that's why i'm deeply sorry

i;m afraid i won't be able to come back b4 the end of April ..
coz i really need this ..need to use my time more wisely
it's just 2 months to final exams...i'm lost ..
i need a real recharging my powers ..feel so powerless ..
i need to study for my last chance ...it's only 2 months left ..
i should be stronger and fight all this distraction
i decided to just focus on my studies 4 the coming 3 months ..
i don't care ..it's just 3 months , not along time ..and i really have to help myself
i can't ask anyone for help , not easy for me ...
although i haven't done anything yet ..but still i hope i'll do better tomorrow
i want to do it better this time .. it's just for my sake ..
its time to do something for me ..i've been so careless about myself for years
i don;t want to do any mistakes ..

i hate to regret ..i don't want to regret it later
that i was able to do something & i didn't work hard for it
no matter how tired i feel , sad or whatever ..
suffocated and don't feel like wanna do anything
i'll fight this all ,,i 'll be a better person ..
even for once in my life... i will do it
maybe it's hard & harder to fight this
maybe my powers are wasted on this fighting ..
i have to be patient ..the begining is always the hardest ..
even if i feel i can't be patient these days ...
still i'll find away ...i have to do it ...i will do it ..in shaa Allah

so for who cares ..maybe they are very few ..but i just don't wish  to see u sad or bored ..or worried ...i'm okay ..even if not ..i'll try to be better ..just wait

i'm exhausted  very exhausted  ... i feel tired & need more sleep ..need healing
so i will listen first what myself wish to do ..i'll do it ..
step by step ....gradually 
in the End i'll get to wt  i want :)

Gasuem apaseo nettomonae apawaseo :\

i heard someone someday said : " many things are better to be left unsaid "
also
- it's better to be misunderstood than to say something hurts others ...
so i choose to be silent ..don't care anymore for wt others think of me ..:|

so if i ignored u someday .. that's for your own good ..
it hurts every time i see you ....

this song stuck in my head :((