honjaaa

lately i keep feeling alone .. facing many things for the first time alone
i feel i'm weak and about to cry ..but i hold it when i remember that i'm a grown up person who can handle any situation , why do i feel that way ?!
it's been like they all left me ,  maybe they forgot me .. it really annoys me but when i think about it ..i can't keep on depending on them for the whole time
i'm not a little girl that needs help all the time , even if i feel that way
i never say anything .. i hate complaining ..i hate to show my weakness ..
for the many times i felt alone and i was about to cry .. there were no one there for me
no matter how long i keep thinking someone will come from no where and help me
no one appears ... i find it out .. i'm facing many stuff that i don't like ..in order to grow up and more over i'm all a lone no matter the kind people around me who are helping me a lot .. but i can't keep feeling this need of them ...so i choose to face this alone ..
i think that i'm growing up more .. new level of depending on myself in the hardest time ever . i really want to cry so badly ..i'm tired and deeply alone ... but i keep swallowing all this bad feelings and enjoy and be an adult and face everything on my own .
In this whole world , we can't depend on anyone the whole time ..people are not there for you all the time ... only Allah is the one here and there for you all the time ♥
i really understand that very well .. this was 1 from the main reason to stop needing others to help me .. but it seem their kindness & caring made me forget ..
that's why i had to face many situations to remember what i had forgot and be balanced again like how things used to be ^^
i'm thankful & grateful ^^

very small world !!

In 2007 there was a website where you can do quizzes  ( answering & making your own) called Tickle ^^ it was  a wonderful website back then , we had a lot of fun & get to know many friends there ^^..
back then we knew someone *A* who was an engineer at some university  ,3 years older .. really i hadn't talked with him much , it was just once because back then i was busy preparing for exams to join college . my elder sister knew him and they became friends .
the website shut down and a new one was opened ,, after a while we met this friend again on the new website (????Q) but he wasn't active there ... this was in 2009
at the same time i entered faculty of engineering 2008  and joined a college forum ^^
people there were kind and good people ^^  but someday i discovered when i was checking someone profile , that he is this friend from back then . i knew it from some identical info ,, and the name that i knew by coincidence from some talking with other people :D
i was Happy ,, it's a small world i didn't even know or was ever to imagine that someone can be at the same place like me , the possibilty to meet a person you knew online on reality was a surprising thing ^^
After that i saw him a few times at college since 2009 till 2011 when he graduated ..i never talked to him or even say or show that i'm that person from back then :D i guess he won't know me ..so it was  buried forever :D .. but we had a group on Facebook , it was active till the end of 2012 and then everything was silent .. he joined army ..and i never heard anything .. later in 2013 & 2014 he contacted my sister but then nothing and everything ended.
this is not the end of the story .. after 2.5 years of graduation (2016 exactly ) i had my chance to work .
my work is different than usual work , i'm a civil engineer so i'm working in a site for some compound project . i started last jan.  on Feb. last month i was surprised .. the world is hell a small world :D again and again :D .. i saw him .. the office he is working in . is joining the project for some work with us ..i recognized him as soon i saw him .. i was really surprised
what life can bring to us ..!!
i really wanted to tell him that hey it's me :D but no use ,, i won't talk or ever say anything
in my opinion if he knew me , he 'd say something . but i guess it's not ,,so let it be that way :D i'm a stranger , so i'd like to stay a stranger ^^
the incident is what really surprises me ,not the person ^^

home is a person

هو : لطالما أردت أن أسالك كيف يكون يومك دونى ؟
هي : الأيام من غيرك رائعة
هو:.......؟؟
هي: ولكن بك الأيام تصبح أجمل و أكثر روعة
أنت إضافة عظيمة ليومى ♥ 
حتى لو قلت ان الأيام من غيرك رائعة ولكنى أبقى دوماً فى انتظارك
لتعطي ليومي اللون والطعم المنتظر
انت كقطعة الأحجية التى تكمل الشئ الناقص بيومي
انا شاكرة لوجودك حتى ولو لوقت قليل
^^