the end of 2012

aaaaaaah ..here is the end of this year..nothing much happened ..haven't done many ..
still i'm hoping for the best next year 2013 :)..although i feel it'll not be any different
my exams starts 2nd January  ..i feel lost..my head wasn't working properly since the end of october..like i have a memory loss..or i become stupid :\\
and still in this mind state,, i wish i pass this exams safe:)
looking forward for my graduation project ...after i joined a strange one ..which everyone call me crazy for doing this..but still i like it ..and i want to go though this adventure :)..
i feel it'll be amazing :D..and i will learn alot of things :D..

i wish things get better :)

:@ + :)

:) for :
well i'm happy to know an important truth about my dreams :D
it's not all a lie..it's a whole truth or part of truth ..i knew many things through my dreams
which i found out thatt it's true ..:| ..it's strange but this is happening :)
but this is really complicate my life more than what i'm suffering these days .. i just want to focus ..i need help ..or some support :)
:@ for :
i hate people who talks and asks about things that it's not their business
i hate them ..like some people who keep telling u u did this ..don't do this ..while they are doing it :@:@,,
i hate people talk behind my back ..or lie to someone something about me which isn't true ..
just haters every where ..:((...just like my dreams lately ..:\\ and like my deep fear inside me ..
like my story ...it's all the same ..hope that my prince charming ..do as the dream ^^
well i'm angry of him ..coz he is slow & late..i'm about to hate him :@
coz he maybe change my life ..help me to be better and do many things..
each time he is late ..i'm going to give up on him .. XD
anyway this is not the subject ..in fact...there are too many things i should do ..b4 my soulmate show up & i can finally meet him ..i don't know when is the perfect time or wt will happen
but i feel good as i asked Allah to help me and choose  for me :)..
and i saw it in dreams too :$
so everything will be okay :)..i believe ..and those haters...will just burn like always
i don't care ...as long Allah is with me :)..
i don't care what any human will say or do ..
better days are coming ..:D
i Believe :))
 

super woman !!

i'm in this strange mood ..that u can't say what u r feeling ..can't describe or say the best words...just can't explain anything..:\ ..
i miss mom , i want to study, strange things happened , a lot of work at home must be done, many promises with my friends ...............i'm stuckkkkkkkkkkkk ..don't know where to start
:\\
many things i'm thinking about ..like what will we cook , when i will wash dishes ..laundry ..making tea , coffee  hot drinks for all ..the whole time ..back from college daily 3al Maghrib
what can i dooooooooooo ?? even if i'm super woman ..i won't be able to do all of this
i'm just getting more tired day after day :\ maybe i was doing this things when mom was here
but at least i was following ..not leading ..it's different & hard :D
i don't care to get enough sleeping .i just want to study ...i want to get 1100+ this year..
i want my whole degree *the 5 years of college *  be more than 65% ..this is what i want ...but nothing helping :\\
it's a bad thing to live far from college ...the worst ever!! :\\
and i don't know what project i want ..the results will come in a week ...
yet i put the 1st 6 the things i want ..or i'll be willing to join this projects...after long thinking
i'm just willing to join just 2 of them :\\
so may Allah help me to go to the best for me ..coz i don't know..and seriously it doesn't matter for me ..what project it will be :||
yomkenny el takyof ma3 ay shei2 :)

....tired ..

enha Al masha3er el morheqa ..na3m :|
i feel soo annoyed ..mom left Egypt today ..she went to my sister
i feel bad ..i hate goodbyes at airports ..
i will be busy ..don\t know wt to do ..!!?
it's college ..home ..country !!!!!
 i have a lot to do ...and a lot i wish to do ..but i can't think well
i feel like i want to talk to someone ..maybe i'm missing my best friend ..she is sick
and i'm totally feeling alone :\\..maybe this is the reason ... anyway being busy won't make me feel anything
anyway ..i'm used to this stuff & i'm strong to fight it ..
i really want to study ..but nothing is helping ..:\ well i can say the truth
yeah maybe nothing is helping but i don't fight even for the little time left
and i can't help myself ..& always end up stuck in everything ..
i only wish for once in my life ..to finish all the work early ..and never be stuck again
if i did that...it'll be amazing & awesome

i'll feel better and like i did a great thing ..but nothing is helping
or maybe i just can't help myself
it's tiring ...i'm tired & sick ..
wish to do more changes & be stronger..but nothing goes well ..it's not nothing ..it's mostly things don't go well ..or as i wish it to be
so i must work harder ..wake up more from this long sleep
i really want to change & do a lot ..
i really deeply want to ..more than any other thing
but why just i can't do it !!??!!!

...

i just need to be taken care of ...
i'm tired and can't take care of myself or any other thing or people..
not like i used to .. i feel down this days :\