meeting mr ....

why is it taking so long ? i'm looking forward it ..i think it's a happy thing ^^
all the best .. i need this change really in my life ..new people.. new air ..
i need action ..coz i'm bored of routine ..nothing new ..so i think it's gonna be this week ..and i hope the best this work out ..so we can be happy :)..and get busy :D
and the feel that this is something new ..to think & talk about it ..to get to know many things
wish to figure out :) ..total new thing ..:)
i've changed alot lately ..specially in this past week ..i knew manythings ..:\
anyway i'm stronger person now :)..having dreams to follow :)..and don't need to worry about anything ..:)

the fact that men don't know is ...when he likes a woman ..she feels it ..but she is never sure until he tells her directly ..not sitting behind and act cowardly ..somehow ..someday ..other person will do his best and take her heart .. will love her and show it ..and then no more chances for the one who stood away coz of he maybe lazy or afraid of response or coz of circumstances ..
he will never knew that the girl he likes ..if she doesn't want him she will refuse it from far ..girls wait for too long for the person to make sure what she feels form him is right ..not just crossing thoughts ..she waits as long as she can ..she gave 1 ,2 ,3 ,.....chances ..in the end
she get tired ..and consider this is just was from her imagination..she gives it up ..
then come another one who loves her and show that he really love her ..so she accepts his love and accept him ..
this is not the problem ..the fact is the one who take too long to understand how much she means to him ..show late and come to tell her ..when it's too late ..and it's over
he gets hurt ..coz - he is  slow and his stupidness- for losing someone who can never find another one like her ...
it's his problem of not telling her earlier ..he didn't know ..she was going to accept ..and she was going to be patient and wait for him too ..to complete what left for him to do ..she can persuade her family and they will support their daughter ..but he never give himself the chance to try telling her !!
one thing men don't get ..that when a woman turns the page on you ..she will never come back ..god only knows how long she waited for u to say something ..how many chances she gave you ..but no use ....so this is how many things over ...
so if u like someone or love someone .or feel that she is the one for you ..
go and tell her ..if she refuses ..that's for your good ..coz u'll forget about her and live ur life with no regrets and will love someone better
if she accepts ..then you win ..it's easy ..getting afraid and waiting for too long makes the one lose ...nothing last forever ..and now she might already get tired of waiting for crossing thoughts or dreams just to come true ..while this dreams are busy wandering if to take the chance or to wait bit longer ..this is the sad truth !!
you have today ..but not tomorrow..
what exist today might not exist tomorrow
think wisely how you want ur life to be !!
don't hesitate
in the end ...No sympathy...

1st post from my vaio ^^

this is strange ..:\ ..not yet used to it :|
any way i opened my facebook back on wednesday at 4pm ..
i returned earlier than i should ..it's all because what i felt through the couple days b4 wednesday :\\
bad feelings which chased me from after 7:30 pm ..to 9 or 10 ..sometimes more :\\
i couldn't handle it ..and this starts on sunday i guess or monday ..:\\
i just hate it ..and my friends kept telling me to back ..the most important people to me ..:D just for them i reactivate it again ..i failed ..i was soo afraid to come back ..it was even harder than closing it ..i didn't want it back ..i was just living in peace ..enjoying my time my life
it's all fake ..i just hate it ..
so i back just for those whole bad feelings kept coming to me ..so when i was back ..i was happy this day to the fullest ..i thought this was the end ..i'm stronger ..not going to have this feeling again :\
but it came back today at 2 pm ..and i don't remember if i got it yesterday ..
ahhhhhhhhhh it's bad ..tiring ..i hate it ..it's like someone is missing me or need me or overthinking about me ..i hate it ..i want it to stop ..and this dream i had after i slept today after zuhur prayer ..when someone told me that needs me ...i was shocked ..
or maybe this dreams is all lies...but i wish from the deep of my heart ..to end this bad feelings...till the idiots talk  ..just stop thinking about me ..i wanna enjoy my time ..do the things i should do ..i was okay ..i didn't miss anyone ..why just giving me a hard time..!!?
i just finished 10% of what i wanted to do ..which is considered a failure to what i really planned ..it seem i must ignore all this stuff and fight harder as much as i can ..

1st day :)

1st day without facebook ..away from all things..and people :)
well it's not bad at all ..i enjoyed ..and i was soo busy that i didn't notice or feel like
i wanna go check my facebook ..it's been like ..i never had it
to be more honest ..i just felt it once at the whole day ..it was after sunset i felt ..like i wanna see what's happening ..but then i got busy and forget all about it :)
real life is more important ..and really needs me :)..
i'm afraid of getting to love my life like these ...so simple ..no headaches ..no one annoy me
not feeling angry :)..just peaceful feel ^_^
that's all what i've been looking for :)..
and the best thing ..i have alot of time to do more of the things i like ..:)..still this was the 1st day
looking forward for next days ..today is the 2nd ..and still i don't feel it's nessecary to log in .:)
it seem i will take longer time than i expect to come back :)..
although my sisters are angry because of that ..but this is my life .my plans ..i just want to get better ..and do the many things i want to do ..in peace ...peaceful mind ..that's all :)
i just wanna complete this experience to the end ..and finish it ..so i can say all what i learn all this time :)..amazing feeling :)..i'm stronger than i ever imagined :)

deactivating my Facebook account :)

yeah :)..i've been thinking about this a week ago and finally i made my decision ..
i'm closing my account for some time  ..don't know how long it will take ..but i'm doing it
for tooo many reasons ..and it's all for good things ..:)
anyway who cares ..no one :)..the point is ...i wanna experience my life without facebook like it never been there ..
life with no net ...limited net ...this experience means a lot to me ..i need much time with myself ..me ..my activity ..home ..family ..and here my blog ...and my friends if they want something they will call me for sure :)..
so nothing to worry about :).
and for sure i'll type about how amazing will this experience be :)..
this is very important to me ..for my self improvement ..:)
i've changed alot ..and yet i'm doing my best to be better ..
the reality is ...i will be back and activate it again when i become a better person than the one i'm already now ...many things needs me in my life ..i'll fix it ..complete many promises i made ..
it will make the burdens i carry.. less :)  
and for making my life a new ..it's not new ..but it was always what i wanted ..this is 2013 ..i'm 21 ..i need to fix everything in my life ..
this is will be my time ..to make my new life system :)..some organizing & everything will be okay :)
i think it will be the best in shaa Allah :)..
I can do it ..i Will Do it :)

14-jan ..welcome my sony vaio :D

well still i can't believe and i have no feelings ..i don't know wt should i do !!!
and it's not like the one i imagined ..but still it's a Vaio !!!!..which i can't still believe it's all mine
^^
i wanted diamond *truss* texure one...but i've been searching since last september ..and i couldn't find it ..it was only black ..and i wanted it white ..this type was as white as snow :))..coz i thought it's that kind had a led keyboard buttons ..which led in Aqua in dark ..and it was all white from all directions ..and i'm still like kids like things shining in darkness ^^ XD
then when i couldn't find it ..i thought about pink and pink is great too ..so i kept searching and no use..and in the fact i couldn't give up the colors and just get the black one ..which every one had left in stores :\ ..
so i got afraid after all this months ..every currency are getting high ..and i can see in the mean time ..it'll just grow bigger ..comparing to pound ..so i thought about ..i will buy what in Egypt now ..i won't wait any longer ..coz it'll be with higher prices ..and then i can't afford it :\\
and the longer money with me ..i will spread it ..in non useful things ..
so i take the step and kept calling stores all day ..no one reply actually ..i spent the time on waiting on phone .and in the end ..some store pick the phone ..and i did it and i went to get it ..
i was soo worried and excited  and i was nervous ..not that happy ..i was in strange mood ..butterflies in my tommy .. i couldn't know what's wrong with me ..:O
the one i get i didn't know whether it will be white or pink ..coz when i talked in phone he didn't know which one is available in stores..and i said it's okay white or pink ..both i want :)..
so in the end i get it white ..and it's a pearl white :)..so this won't be my diamond snow ..it will be ..my pearl vaio :)..
and when we opened and i read the instructions ..i felt soo stupid
well this is much technology for me ..and i'm not used to it :\
i know it'll take time ..but i really want this time to pass soo quickly ..so i can use it comfortably ^^
in the end i wasn't that happy as i thought ..things in life ..exam tomorrow ..poltics matter ..
all this made me a bit down from inside ..so i couldn't be as happy as i should be ..
here it is :)

 

it's okay to come back

^_^ afkar taqtelonyyyy hahahahhaha

3ayza a3ml 7agaaaaaat keteeeeeeeeer ..kal3ada el afkar el gamda ..beteegy ayam el exams
hartbhom fe dema3'y w aktebhom ...3ashan abtdy fehom ..
wl wa2t day2 awyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :|
2e7sas gameeel ama el ensan yeb2a mash3'ool b sho3'l ye3melo ^^
i just don't want to feel bad or sad ..:)
2 exams left ...1st time to enjoyyyyyyyy exams this much ..mostamt3aaaa awyyyyyyyyyy ...
w lama fakrt enha a5er sana ..i was soo sad ...i'm gonna miss that ..really ^_^
bas mafesh 7aga 3ala 7alha wel lazem nntleq le mara7el 2o5ra :D..kol mar7la w betnthy w benbda2 7aga gedida ..:)
ya rab a3mel 7aga kewaisa fe mashroo3 el t5rog .. ezzaay hat5rg kda mn 3'eer ma 2a2thr fel kolya XD XD XD ..:)..in shaa Allah 5eeeeeeeeeeer :)..
me7taga afkr gedyan ha3ml eih ama at5rg ..fe3ln shei2 mo7ieer XD

afkaaaaaar keteeeeer bas 3aiza ttzbt w asht3'l fehom ba2a ...
^_^
things will be betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ...i Believeeeeeeeee ^^
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa rab :)

freezing XD oh wind stop blowing :)

it's soooo cold here ..i'm freezing ,, but still i'm on net ..i must be under blanket now XD
in this cold days ..nothing is better than watching anime ..drinking coffee & hot drinks ..that's really make my stomach Happyyyyyyyyyy ^^
it feels good typing whatever , :D.. really make me Happy :)
this weather reminded me of a Korean song ..i can say a line from it
* oh wind stop blowing , so he can come ^^ *
maybe the last weeks ,months ..haven't been good ..but i still Believe in tomorrow ..will be better than ever...everything will shine again ..like the sun comes after every night ..no matter how long the night last...in the end the sun rises up ..there is a morning after every night ...this is the main fact  in  this big world ..^^
i'm hoping more than any other time...i have no more interest in any one ..
i changed to the best ...i'm trying my best ..to be better..:)..
things changed ..many many ..there are things important than others :)
i realized what more important to me ..i've made new dreams ..new decisions ..things to follow ..i don't want to feel alone or not useful :)..so this vacation will be alittle different ;) ..in shaa Allah :)
things is going to be the best ever ..i believe :)..

i remembered people who came along my life since i enter school ..people who loved me ..who cared for me ..who made me feel special person ..since i was 8 years ..people who ruined my life :D..i'm thankful to all of you ..i'm not that person who can't be loved ..thanks to Allah ..i've been loved be many ..some i knew ..some i didn't ..:)..people i refused they weren't good persons ..the fact is everyone has a soulmate ..who will show up some day ^^
i may refused many ..but i don't have any intentions to refuse more :)
i'm not waiting for anyone to love me ...i won't assume  others love me ....people who love me will show it ..will tell me ..not hiding and wishing if i can feel them ..this is stupid ...no one can count on this things it might not be true unless it's been said directly ..and it's clear boys have to make the 1st move :) ..
after long thinking ..and long talking with mom on tuesday ..i felt like why i'm so afraid of meeting new people ..i was afraid of not being able to say no ..afraid to hurt good people just coz i'm not feeling acceptance towards them ..*this is the worst feelings ever*
 ..recently many were talking about me:(( ..i know i have thoughts & things i'm not giving it up ..but this doesn't mean to just stay at a corner ..and for fact i won't choose something to ruin my life..or choose something coz  people like it or want it  or see this is the right  ..i'll just choose what my heart feel good to ..:). like wt i believe .. what i want ..away from many things ..i don't care..what's more important to me in a person ..*their mind &their heart* .i don't like empty mind people or shallow ones ..:@....nothing after this mean anything ...and i'm not a child that i can't take a decision ...i know myself ... what i want ..what i need...this isn't an easy decision ...it's a life time matter ..why people just interfere with this ..i hate those people really :@
recently i was soo disappointed & soo sad , depressed  ..and made my decision i'm ready to meet new people
i'm not afraid ..as long Allah with me ... i won't be lost :)..
i always wished not to meet many people ..and the only one come to our home is the one for me ,,the right one..i don't want to meet many... & this stuff... made any girl sick :\\
in the end ..this is my decsion... only me... and thanks to Allah my parents supporting me ^^..
and
-I'd rather be with no one ..than to be with the wrong one -
i have plans for my life..things i wish to learn ..things i want to do ..and i'm not giving it up
i'm not going to kill myself or end my dreams never ^_^ coz that what makes us what we are :)
main thing to do in this life ..is to please Allah :)..

fate :( nega michyosson nabwa

this song were stuck in my head for days ..
*please don't come to me *
*i don't have the confidence to love you *
*if i try to leave you don't hold on to me *
*please let me go*
*please don't cry*
*i can't wipe awaay your tears anymore*
* i guess i mistook u for destiny *
*i guess i thought u were mine , i guess i was crazy *
annyong ijen nal ijo juseyo *Good bye , please forget me *

to the person of my dreams :|  sayounara

2013 ^^

don't know exactly what to say ...days are going very fast & exams too ..:D.i have made many plans for this agaza :D
.i have an exam on wednesday
as always i forgot wt i was going to say :\\
well i don' have much time to think about what i wanted to say ..coz i haven't started studying yet :D
i'm soooo stuckkkkkkkk XD :D i'll go studyyyyyyy :)