no matter what my friends said once ... how we fit .. by then i didn't want to believe it ..coz i was going on another plans... this made me confused more....
no one ever know that i was fighting badly at this time.... trying to be better and make everything good... i wasn't happy really as i seemed to be ....my mind was thinking too much that i really lost direction and don't know what to do ....
this day after they told me that....i went home ..i was angry ..through the daily fighting with myself ...when i got to my room ...my sister was putting a big white paper on the wall...my eyes got on one line ...i didn't see this line b4 but ...from all wt written ...this was the only line i notice & saw...it was * believe in signs * .... this made me more confused ...i get more angry ...
i argue with me sister about that ...
i told her : it's a lie ...it's all lies ...
she said : what are u talking about ?
i said : this line on the wall * i pointed with my finger*
she said: which one there are many lines ...
then i told her about it ... and i asked her do u believe in that ....
she replied: yes i do ..
i said : i used to do ...but what if this signs all what it do ...make things complicated ....and signs even get me confused .... i'm afraid to put hopes over a sign ..which i'm not sure even if i translate it right or wrong .!!...how can i know if this is right or not ...how ..i hate signs !! :'(
the conversation was over ....and i was even more confused ....
in this time ... everything was just against me .... even how hard i tried to ignore and to hide & to be away of that person .... situations gathered us ....many ones ...i was kinda sad ...not looking ...hardly replying .... i know i looked like a very cold person ... but i was really by then going to get engaged ....but there was something i wasn't sure about ... everything was over the last day of exams .... in the real fact ...it was over ...b4 that but they waited for me to finish my exams to tell me ...as if it will cause me something ...or i will cry...they never knew how i was suffering ....wanting to go back of that words...and refuse ...but it seem ...i kept silent till they say it ...
i really hoped that ....i hoped they say it ...better than if i refuse it ...i don't care to get refused ...but i was soo symphthing with that person that i reallly felt it will be bad if i refused him ,,,people will mistaken me with the real reason ....Alhamdulilah it's over ...it's better now
i was soooooooooo happy when i heard that news that everything is over...
i really haven't seen that person ...just a couple of time...and we never have a real talk ...it was undefined ...!!!
let's go back on the main topic ...the main character ...after that ...things got silent
i never thought of anyone ... but
yesterday ...something strange had happened ... i knew about an action and i tolld one of my friends about ..in a second ...wt happened showed that i was right in wt i said ..
i think it's a coincidence !!...
in the end ,,, it's hard ..i can't ,,,and i don''t have the right to even dream of that....in many ways it's kinda impossible ...but ..i'm afraid to dream of something ...that i'll never have ....
that's will be better for me ... i don't want to be greedy even in my dreams,,,,
i'm sorry if i'm not fighting for it...but ...i have another 2 dreams that comparing to that one ...is more important for me....so i can give up that one.....sorry for letting you go....do u even know me ?
i'm saying to u sorry & thanks ...sorry for letting go * as if u know me * ...thanks ..for many things...i may not be able to say it face to face ...but really i'm grateful for u ...:)...
i wanna tell u to take care of yourself ...:)...
no one ever know that i was fighting badly at this time.... trying to be better and make everything good... i wasn't happy really as i seemed to be ....my mind was thinking too much that i really lost direction and don't know what to do ....
this day after they told me that....i went home ..i was angry ..through the daily fighting with myself ...when i got to my room ...my sister was putting a big white paper on the wall...my eyes got on one line ...i didn't see this line b4 but ...from all wt written ...this was the only line i notice & saw...it was * believe in signs * .... this made me more confused ...i get more angry ...
i argue with me sister about that ...
i told her : it's a lie ...it's all lies ...
she said : what are u talking about ?
i said : this line on the wall * i pointed with my finger*
she said: which one there are many lines ...
then i told her about it ... and i asked her do u believe in that ....
she replied: yes i do ..
i said : i used to do ...but what if this signs all what it do ...make things complicated ....and signs even get me confused .... i'm afraid to put hopes over a sign ..which i'm not sure even if i translate it right or wrong .!!...how can i know if this is right or not ...how ..i hate signs !! :'(
the conversation was over ....and i was even more confused ....
in this time ... everything was just against me .... even how hard i tried to ignore and to hide & to be away of that person .... situations gathered us ....many ones ...i was kinda sad ...not looking ...hardly replying .... i know i looked like a very cold person ... but i was really by then going to get engaged ....but there was something i wasn't sure about ... everything was over the last day of exams .... in the real fact ...it was over ...b4 that but they waited for me to finish my exams to tell me ...as if it will cause me something ...or i will cry...they never knew how i was suffering ....wanting to go back of that words...and refuse ...but it seem ...i kept silent till they say it ...
i really hoped that ....i hoped they say it ...better than if i refuse it ...i don't care to get refused ...but i was soo symphthing with that person that i reallly felt it will be bad if i refused him ,,,people will mistaken me with the real reason ....Alhamdulilah it's over ...it's better now
i was soooooooooo happy when i heard that news that everything is over...
i really haven't seen that person ...just a couple of time...and we never have a real talk ...it was undefined ...!!!
let's go back on the main topic ...the main character ...after that ...things got silent
i never thought of anyone ... but
yesterday ...something strange had happened ... i knew about an action and i tolld one of my friends about ..in a second ...wt happened showed that i was right in wt i said ..
i think it's a coincidence !!...
in the end ,,, it's hard ..i can't ,,,and i don''t have the right to even dream of that....in many ways it's kinda impossible ...but ..i'm afraid to dream of something ...that i'll never have ....
that's will be better for me ... i don't want to be greedy even in my dreams,,,,
i'm sorry if i'm not fighting for it...but ...i have another 2 dreams that comparing to that one ...is more important for me....so i can give up that one.....sorry for letting you go....do u even know me ?
i'm saying to u sorry & thanks ...sorry for letting go * as if u know me * ...thanks ..for many things...i may not be able to say it face to face ...but really i'm grateful for u ...:)...
i wanna tell u to take care of yourself ...:)...
