everytime i feel this ..i don't know what to do ..i'm confused ..
i can't say yes ..i can't say no .. i just don't know ..as i feel nothing
i also forget those people faces too fast
there are 2 important facts
1st : good people meet good people
that's why whoever we meet is a good ones
2nd and i wish this society understand that
there are too many good people ..and being good people both doesn't mean we should end together .. like not because he is a good one ..i suppose to end with him
there are many things no matter how hard i try to explain
no one will ever understand ..that's why i'll keep silent till the very end :)
anyway i can't rely in this in my opinion whether i should continue or say no
it's hard to say ...really ..and as a good people we are always afraid to judge a wrong judgment ..as we really believe is that * كما تدين تدان *
what u do for others *bad thing* ..it'll happen 4 u surely
that's what make us...like no matter how bad or dying i may feel i can't say something
according to just feelings ..i must have a solid reason for that * the worst thing in this society* for refusing a good guy with bla bla bla bla -_-
1st i was soo angry ..i gave up my dreams ..the man of my dreams ..i choose to forget about it all ..for what !! i gave up * such an idiot*
- and i forgot about all things that might stand in my way .. i thought this is the best thing
this was a good move ..as now i feel free from many things
then i lost my dreams as i wondered everything about dreams are wrong they keep saying never give up , keep believing ..in the end u'll get it ..but never ...none of my dreams happened ..no matter how i believed and filled my heart with hopes 4 it ..
i was soo angry .. i was blinded ...but now i know one thing
maybe this wasn't the right thing and it's not the good 4 me ..so i felt much better :)
but no matter how i try to compare things together..still can't say ..no matter how i explain no one understands*this really kills me* ..they want to be happy ..and me too i want to be happy and get married ..but i can't get married to just anyone ..there must be something special in the 1st meeting ...*like i always sensed in my whole life situations :\ *
but nothing happen it's all like i'm talking to myself ..finally i said ..i let all this thoughts go
i'll think as my radar can't get the real feeling for the situation ..my radar has broken down maybe thinking too much made me confused and people keep pissing me off ..that's why i'm mistaken about this ..i'll ignore this
i'll keep going as u want ..i'm not losing i'll keep myself at peace
as i believe that this feelings is protected 4 the only one ..just one ..
finally i found out the real thing over all this stuff ان تكون مع الله عز وجل
i'm only having Allah by my side ..the only one understands me ..the only one knows me well ..the only one knows what is the best for me .. so i'll shut up ..and continue
as i believe in Allah will help me ...will give me the best ..no matter how bad i'm .. and i'll love all Allah gives me ^^
* He created me and he knows what perfectly suits me *
i admit it i was too far from Allah for the past 5 months ...i really didn't recognize it's that long :((.. OMG !!..it's just tiring .. i know Allah is calling me to get back to him and be the way i used to be ... so i need to get closer and read Quran ..and ask Allah for forgiveness :(
and If this is my punishment , i'll accept it i'll do my best.. i'll try hard i'll change for the best , because i can't lose the future i can lose now & today ..but not my future
i won't cry as i know crying won't prevent anything from happening ..and won't change what will happen
but still i can hope for the best .. and pray for it
as long as i know and believe in Allah's wisdom and Allah always choose the best for us
i'm sure Allah will choose the best for me ...so i'll stop thinking and worrying about this
فقط سأتركها لله واستعين بالله
فان كان خيرا فسيسره الله لى
وانا كان شرا سيبعده الله عنى
هكذا اؤمن وهكذا ما سيحدث
يااارب
