yeah it's me ..... well i must confess this now ...no one know this ....coz this is the hidden side of me that really most of others don't know ...well i'm ...i mean ...i was ...very senstive ....alittle word hurts me & made me cry .... so i've decided along time ago ...to swallow this tears and be stronger that's why after years of practicing ..i become stronger now .....but .... this side trying to come out ...and show it self again ...i think it's because i kept swallowing all the things that annoyes me so it pile up ..that i can't bear anymore ??!!!!!!!....
no one can ever stand how hard when a hurt word is said and u just ignore it !!!....it's hard ...and feels like heart is bleeding ....i hate to cry infront of others ...and when it happen ...i hate myself ...
for me ...looking like strong rock better than looking like a fragile bisscuit easy to be broken ...
yeah after years of practicing ...words and some actions don't even affect me ...coz ..i've decided this along time ago ...:s....but still words hurt ...just from a few persons not every ones ....
but a few time it hurted and i didn't cry ...i just feel angry coz ..even i defended myself .. no one will ever understand me ...coz they will never accept your excuses ...:(...really i wanna say...not all excuses is a lie ....:(...no one put themselves on others shoes to see how they deal or will deal ..
this world became very hard with much misunderstanding ..:((...
so i stoped explaining and stopped caring for what the hell other people think of me ...
* what really makes me angry and hate myself ...that my tears just fall in some situations without even my permission ...it's uncontrolled ...i feel embarssed really :((....:$ ...
- i can swallow ...any pain ...any tears ... i can forgive and accept apology of everyone ....yes i'd say i'm okay it's nothing ....but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt or annoy me ..!!!
- also i'm mad at my self ...coz i get hurted for other people ...i get hurted of words that have nothing to do with me at all...!!!...my problem is ...i can feel feel others very very much ..that i can't explain ..and it really hurt me ...and i feel guilt easily for any word i say might hurt any other...:(
i feel angry of negative people ...that accept the un fairness ..and just live like that ...doesn't even seek for their wrights ...or anything... don't even defend themselves ..:(..i feel pain for that....
even if i know all of this ... i'm aware of all this ...sometimes i hurt others without i even notice ... i feel guilt ,,,even if i say sorry ...this word won't ever remove the pain felt of the word when said ...so i'm doing my best to avoid this ...i just don't want to hurt anyone ...:(
no one can ever stand how hard when a hurt word is said and u just ignore it !!!....it's hard ...and feels like heart is bleeding ....i hate to cry infront of others ...and when it happen ...i hate myself ...
for me ...looking like strong rock better than looking like a fragile bisscuit easy to be broken ...
yeah after years of practicing ...words and some actions don't even affect me ...coz ..i've decided this along time ago ...:s....but still words hurt ...just from a few persons not every ones ....
but a few time it hurted and i didn't cry ...i just feel angry coz ..even i defended myself .. no one will ever understand me ...coz they will never accept your excuses ...:(...really i wanna say...not all excuses is a lie ....:(...no one put themselves on others shoes to see how they deal or will deal ..
this world became very hard with much misunderstanding ..:((...
so i stoped explaining and stopped caring for what the hell other people think of me ...
* what really makes me angry and hate myself ...that my tears just fall in some situations without even my permission ...it's uncontrolled ...i feel embarssed really :((....:$ ...
- i can swallow ...any pain ...any tears ... i can forgive and accept apology of everyone ....yes i'd say i'm okay it's nothing ....but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt or annoy me ..!!!
- also i'm mad at my self ...coz i get hurted for other people ...i get hurted of words that have nothing to do with me at all...!!!...my problem is ...i can feel feel others very very much ..that i can't explain ..and it really hurt me ...and i feel guilt easily for any word i say might hurt any other...:(
i feel angry of negative people ...that accept the un fairness ..and just live like that ...doesn't even seek for their wrights ...or anything... don't even defend themselves ..:(..i feel pain for that....
even if i know all of this ... i'm aware of all this ...sometimes i hurt others without i even notice ... i feel guilt ,,,even if i say sorry ...this word won't ever remove the pain felt of the word when said ...so i'm doing my best to avoid this ...i just don't want to hurt anyone ...:(
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