Change

Life is too short, so it's Now or Never

السبت، 18 ديسمبر 2010

my confession 1

this was written 29 nov,2010
i'm letting go ....
from now on ...
i'll let you all go ..
i'll not hold onto anything or anyone tightly
i'll no more care to lose anyone or anything ..
as long it's never been mine ...
from now on ..
i'll be more carefull of what i'm wishing ..
because i might get it all ...
but after getting it don't know if i'll like it or not...( sometimes it's unsuitable things )
there is many important things in life ...
i don't believe in my choices about it ....
because most of it depend on a little knowledge ...
this words are really from DEEPEST of my HEART...
i wish and hope everything go well to everyone
even if i'm not on it ....
i'll give up any competition
with anyone close to me ......when it just about wining another person ...
i'd love to lose for them :)..
sisters & friends .....
i'll always be happy for them.....

better than living feeling even a little guilt ...
i thought i'm abit selfish ...but my conscience  always prevent me from being like this
there are many people are better than me ....
i'm not qualified to win at any competition ....because always
othere misunderstand me ....no one really know the real me...
situations never save me ...just make me look worse ...:-\....
and people just judge by what they see...so no way ...although luck won't be
by my side....so i give up ..coz i know my self ...i'll feel guilt if i won ..feel sad for who lose ..
so it really doesn't matter for me to lose ...as i don't care for such shallow things
i know there will always be opportunities for me ....
the problem is ...only people close to me and who know me
they are the only ones knows me well ....very very well..
but any other never knew this & never will ....
it's not easy for me to talk easily to anyone really...
i'm not that kind of a social person ...i even don't talk much except with friends and family...
those are the only i talk freely with ...it's not easy for me to deal with any others
so if any others talked to me ...they will find me kinda rude...but i'm really not
i'm just feel Embarrassing....:@...that i'll look to other like bad person ...
that hates everyone...and others will think they are not welcome ...and that makes me feel 
angry ...coz they got the wrong idea ....:@:@:@...
the most thing annoys me really ....that other think something about me that really
has nothing to do with me ....specially 
when they think something wrong  ...it's just like burning ...
but this was in the near past ...i stopped caring for such things
i don't care what other thinks of me 
as long that i 'ven't done anything wrong ..or against religion ..
so i don't care for what other thinks ...
they will never like me any way ...so i'm not going to lose my time
on explaining what i mean ...or what i meant 
people think what ever they want to....
enough for me that the people i really care for knows me well 
and trust me ...and know that there are things 
never ever i'll do .....this what call trust ...
& respect 
that's all what i need ...
who don't trust me ... it's okay for me ...
because they mean nothing to me ...
i'll just care for the people who cares for me ...my family ...then my friends ..
that's it ...
no one will ever understand any other 100%...i believe there always will be
a misunderstanding ....

TO BE CONTINUED ...........


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