where is me !!!!?

it's been a while since the last time i posted here.....
even strange that i'm typing now in papers ...typing when i'm under my blankets and about to sleep!!!
Really i want to type many things ...still there is 2 old posts i wrote them nearly a month ..,& i haven't enough time to type them ....
i don't know whats wrong with me ...really ....
it's strange feeling ..feeling nothing ..blank ..if i look at my mood and my thoughts ..i can't see any colors ...just black and little white...well i can't describe it .....
i'm no longer can stand any pain ... even it was easy one ... i can't :(
i don't feel myself anymore....it's like being negative and giving up life...
All i can say ..is that...i'm really deeply sad ...with no obvious reason ...
i've never been like that before..
i'm no longer want to do anything ...nothing really encourage me...not this life ..not this society
i'm no longer want anything .....whatever ....
is there is a little thing left to give us hope?? even alittle one ..
everything is the same ..
i never say this coming words but i'll now...
i hate this Routine ...yes i feel like i had enough ...yeah ..:((
i'm no longer patient or interested in anything or at anything ...everything is the same for me ...
even people ..it seem they all the same too ....
i'm no longer wanna talk...i'm no longer stand the loud voices ....
i wish to do many many things ...for others & for myself...i wanna cheer up others ...but i end up with nothing ..i'm very boring person ...
yeah ....i'm bored even of myself......i think
life won't get any better.........where is me ....it's like it's lost...
i think enough talking like this now .....sorry readers ...for such black post...that just contain bad feelings and much boredom & sadness   .....
i hope to come back to myself again ..really i wish to come back .....:)