it happened so quickly than i thought ...
after i've finally decided to getting back my Inner peace
which it seem i can't have it ...
i needed time to breathe alone ..to find myself
to finish many things i want ..
it seem this can't be ..some mind peace please !!
hopefully ..i could get out of this .. no matter how hard for me to think properly these days
but Alhamdulilah ..i managed to think well :)
and i was able to give myself a chance for more months
Although this is nothing compared to what i ever wanted or i dreamt of
but i didn't feel bad ... they were happy for the news ..so i couldn't be so harsh
and i don't plan too for giving up my dreams
i don't like to lose something for another ..
i'm more likely to win and keep all the things i want together
but this will take much power...to think to get all people together
just being smart .. to solve whatever ..i need this
smartly i solved it ...but it's just for few months ..maybe 1 ..maybe 2 ..maybe less ..
i don't know & don't wish to know ...because everything will happen in its perfect time
all i need is time ...coz now i'm just at my weakest ever
my emotions not stable ..more importantly ..i don't wanna make a decision that i'll regret later
so i'm giving myself the chance to get myself together and be stronger
then i won't have much suffering in future ..and with Allah help ..i'll make the right decisions
i admit it i wanted it so badly to meet new people ..to have action in my life
but seriously this is because i'm sick of everything ..need something new
but i can't now ..i don't want to get involved in something ..maybe not true ..not the right
i need to have my own space for now...till i be a better version of myself
i'm not ready yet ..that's it
so this new person ..1st meeting is when he comes back from abroad
don't know when ..and it's good to not know ..
"till he comes ..we will meet then ..from now till that date ..i will just be me , live my life..i'm tired , having enough ..i don't want to be attached to anyone or anything right now..and also for him ..time is precious to be wasted with wrong people..and there is a high degree this is not the right one for me ..i need this time for myself ..no introducing to each other through any communication or by anyway ..just till he comes..then i may start thinking of this matter , accepting or refusing ..depending on the meeting ..& many more
through this period if i meet someone and i really liked him ..so i will accept this one ...so no promises ...let blind dates just be blind " i said
need time
so i can feel free and think widely ..deeply ..improve myself ..& to get to know myself more
to know whats important to me ..what i can give up ..&what i can't ...what i can accept ..what i can't
it's not easy at all :|
this is growing up..
i wish i was little ..my life would be soo simple :]
i just don't want to waste time ..i don't want to get drown in bad feelings of over thinking
so this time i;m letting everything ..to take it's own right way & path ..
ya Allah please Guide me , show me right from wrong...choose for me what's good for me
ya Allah u know better than anyone , u know me better than anyone ., what i can stand , what i can't
please help me :)
ya Allah if he is not my soulmate ..if he isn't the one ..please send him away
ya Allah give my real soulmate strength to show up soon b4 anyone else
Amiin
ياااااااااااااااااااااااارب
after i've finally decided to getting back my Inner peace
which it seem i can't have it ...
i needed time to breathe alone ..to find myself
to finish many things i want ..
it seem this can't be ..some mind peace please !!
hopefully ..i could get out of this .. no matter how hard for me to think properly these days
but Alhamdulilah ..i managed to think well :)
and i was able to give myself a chance for more months
Although this is nothing compared to what i ever wanted or i dreamt of
but i didn't feel bad ... they were happy for the news ..so i couldn't be so harsh
and i don't plan too for giving up my dreams
i don't like to lose something for another ..
i'm more likely to win and keep all the things i want together
but this will take much power...to think to get all people together
just being smart .. to solve whatever ..i need this
smartly i solved it ...but it's just for few months ..maybe 1 ..maybe 2 ..maybe less ..
i don't know & don't wish to know ...because everything will happen in its perfect time
all i need is time ...coz now i'm just at my weakest ever
my emotions not stable ..more importantly ..i don't wanna make a decision that i'll regret later
so i'm giving myself the chance to get myself together and be stronger
then i won't have much suffering in future ..and with Allah help ..i'll make the right decisions
i admit it i wanted it so badly to meet new people ..to have action in my life
but seriously this is because i'm sick of everything ..need something new
but i can't now ..i don't want to get involved in something ..maybe not true ..not the right
i need to have my own space for now...till i be a better version of myself
i'm not ready yet ..that's it
so this new person ..1st meeting is when he comes back from abroad
don't know when ..and it's good to not know ..
"till he comes ..we will meet then ..from now till that date ..i will just be me , live my life..i'm tired , having enough ..i don't want to be attached to anyone or anything right now..and also for him ..time is precious to be wasted with wrong people..and there is a high degree this is not the right one for me ..i need this time for myself ..no introducing to each other through any communication or by anyway ..just till he comes..then i may start thinking of this matter , accepting or refusing ..depending on the meeting ..& many more
through this period if i meet someone and i really liked him ..so i will accept this one ...so no promises ...let blind dates just be blind " i said
need time
so i can feel free and think widely ..deeply ..improve myself ..& to get to know myself more
to know whats important to me ..what i can give up ..&what i can't ...what i can accept ..what i can't
it's not easy at all :|
this is growing up..
i wish i was little ..my life would be soo simple :]
i just don't want to waste time ..i don't want to get drown in bad feelings of over thinking
so this time i;m letting everything ..to take it's own right way & path ..
ya Allah please Guide me , show me right from wrong...choose for me what's good for me
ya Allah u know better than anyone , u know me better than anyone ., what i can stand , what i can't
please help me :)
ya Allah if he is not my soulmate ..if he isn't the one ..please send him away
ya Allah give my real soulmate strength to show up soon b4 anyone else
Amiin
ياااااااااااااااااااااااارب
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