i don't know whats wrong with me ...i'm soo deeply in a mixed feeling and sad :(( don't know why?
it's soo deep ,,,that i'm sad the whole day ... i thought after i make the group i'd be happy even a bit ...but still the same ...it was like suffering the whole day without nothing
till i find out ..i just like to hide when i be soo sad when i'm not able to face it or get over it
i'm sooo sad for the people were killed ...it's like i'm killed too ... rabena yer7amhom :(
i think this is the main reason ...then the feeling of wasting time and never complete wt i want to do ...and feeling sad after listening to some news ...it all at once ..made me feel bad ..
and i wanted to run away ...the better thing is to face alone ..so to be stronger ..
no matter how i feel inside that i want to give up everything ...still a little piece of me telling me fight fight ...my head not okay ..my stomach not okay ..i'm not okay ...
my mother were sick today :( ..for a moment i wished if i were a real doctor...so i can help ..i kept reading here & there ..and i missed many things..but Alhamdulilah she's better now ..
maybe i'm a real idiot i haven't noticed many things i really know ..and i kept searching like stupid and wasted time ...
although i didn't want to write anything ..but i was terribly sad ..that i thought if i wrote something everything would be okay ,,,maybe better ... really i'm trying hard ...
maybe with others i look hopeful ..even if i don't feel it at all ..
all in my mind that it is better to change someone's depression and sadness ...
enough what i'm through ..i don't have to make people more sad than they are ..
feels like i'm a drama queen ..
in the end of this post ...
i'm feel a little okay & happy ..1st after el fajr prayer ..i felt much better Alhamdulilah ,,
then ...typing ..and talking with some people which made me feel that i'm not the only person in that depression*i felt if i give up ..many others will * ,,which made me feel that i have to feel better ..to make those people be more hopeful and feeling more better ..
so from now ..it's fighting fighting fighting :)...tomorrow is a better day ..no matter how long it takes to see the light ...in the end we will get to the light and have our happy ending we seek ..it really going to take a little bit longer ..but we have to be patient ..doesn't matter if we saw it ..or it happen after our death ...in the end....it's going to happen ... this is a life reality :)...
i swear when i started this post i was nearly going to explode and cry ..i never thought it will be ended like that ...in a seconds miracles happen :)...i believe :)..
it's soo deep ,,,that i'm sad the whole day ... i thought after i make the group i'd be happy even a bit ...but still the same ...it was like suffering the whole day without nothing
till i find out ..i just like to hide when i be soo sad when i'm not able to face it or get over it
i'm sooo sad for the people were killed ...it's like i'm killed too ... rabena yer7amhom :(
i think this is the main reason ...then the feeling of wasting time and never complete wt i want to do ...and feeling sad after listening to some news ...it all at once ..made me feel bad ..
and i wanted to run away ...the better thing is to face alone ..so to be stronger ..
no matter how i feel inside that i want to give up everything ...still a little piece of me telling me fight fight ...my head not okay ..my stomach not okay ..i'm not okay ...
my mother were sick today :( ..for a moment i wished if i were a real doctor...so i can help ..i kept reading here & there ..and i missed many things..but Alhamdulilah she's better now ..
maybe i'm a real idiot i haven't noticed many things i really know ..and i kept searching like stupid and wasted time ...
although i didn't want to write anything ..but i was terribly sad ..that i thought if i wrote something everything would be okay ,,,maybe better ... really i'm trying hard ...
maybe with others i look hopeful ..even if i don't feel it at all ..
all in my mind that it is better to change someone's depression and sadness ...
enough what i'm through ..i don't have to make people more sad than they are ..
feels like i'm a drama queen ..
in the end of this post ...
i'm feel a little okay & happy ..1st after el fajr prayer ..i felt much better Alhamdulilah ,,
then ...typing ..and talking with some people which made me feel that i'm not the only person in that depression*i felt if i give up ..many others will * ,,which made me feel that i have to feel better ..to make those people be more hopeful and feeling more better ..
so from now ..it's fighting fighting fighting :)...tomorrow is a better day ..no matter how long it takes to see the light ...in the end we will get to the light and have our happy ending we seek ..it really going to take a little bit longer ..but we have to be patient ..doesn't matter if we saw it ..or it happen after our death ...in the end....it's going to happen ... this is a life reality :)...
i swear when i started this post i was nearly going to explode and cry ..i never thought it will be ended like that ...in a seconds miracles happen :)...i believe :)..
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